- More than one-third (37.8%) of marriages in England and Wales don’t make it past 20 years.
- Nearly half of the couples (~45%) file for divorce after spending around 30 years in marriage.
No couple enters a marriage with a clear thought to split someday. Still, a lot of couples go for a divorce after surviving their married life for years.
It is not just a financial or emotional roller coaster. Several other things are involved when couples decide to part their ways, especially when there are children from the union.
Thankfully, there are easy ways to manage the divorce for a smooth split.
Keep reading to learn more.
Cooperate, Communicate, And Mediate
When you’ve been with someone for years, it can be overwhelming to make the split. Often, separating couples experience a flood of emotions, including anger, grief, anxiety, and fear.
Sometimes, these emotions can escalate and make matters worse, though you would not want to do that intentionally.
Believe us- it’s normal to experience such emotional turmoil.
However, the good news is that with cooperation and clear communication, the split can be a breeze.
Try to talk to your separating spouse about what they think. If you both agree, i.e. your divorce is not contested, you can also file for an Online Divorce in the UK courts without any fuss. It should leave you with lesser stress to end your soon-to-be-dissolved relationship on a happy note.
Cooperating and communicating with your separating partner can also help you decide how your assets and debts would be split. And not to forget, the future for your children too.
Speaking of…
Talk To Your Children
During a divorce, it is not the couple who suffers the most but the innocent children.
Ending a marriage and dissolving the union is a decision between couples. But, children are usually the ones who have to face the repercussions.
Consider this; the children will have only one parent to come and talk to about their problems. And it’s not easy to decide which parent to live with for the children, especially if they are too young.
Although you are splitting your ways with your partner, you need to ensure that your children do not suffer in all the turmoil. For this, you can try and communicate with your children.
Try to tell them how much you love them. Make them feel that they are not responsible for whatever is happening, and they will always receive your unconditional love.
Also, tell them that regardless of their decision, you will always stand by their side.
These affectionate yet straightforward statements can help your child overcome any anxiety or depression symptoms. Also, they’d be more contented with themselves and live out their life confidently.
Sit Down And Plan Your Finances
Of course, financial planning, both pre and post-divorce, is the gravest concern for splitting spouses.
Once you split your ways with your partner, there’s support money and alimony involved. Then there’s child support and education expenses.
Did we mention debts and assets? Well, these are also generally to be split between the separating spouses.
In most cases, divorcing couples usually involve a mediator or a financial advisor to help with the split. The advisor would assess the present economic situation of the spouses and predict future needs. And accordingly, the finances would be split.
For instance, if both the spouses entering a divorce are working professionals, the debts and assets may be split equally. In contrast, if only one spouse is earning, the split may favour the non-earning partner.
However, the financial split also depends on several other factors. For instance, if the debts are from before or after the couple entered the marriage. Likewise, whether the non-earning partner will have any future employment after separation.
So, it is better to sit together and talk about your finances. Your differences may get in the way of a healthy discussion, but know this – you need to destress yourself and get done with the turbulence as soon as possible.
Take A Session If Needed
Sometimes, communicating and cooperating may still not resolve all your stress. Yes, it is possible.
Remember your differences are the prime reason why you are splitting up. And communications may not always end on a healthy note.
First of all, try to maintain your composure and stay as calm as possible. Indulge yourself into a relaxing bath session every now and then, or go out on a date with a friend.
If that does not seem to help you, try seeking some professional help. You can talk to an emotional counsellor who can help you unlock your emotions and push them out.
Often, letting things and emotions go is the only solution to alleviate emotional stress, especially the feelings attached to your memories together.
Talk to your counsellor about your feelings and the things that are bothering you. They may help you find ways to cope with these emotional floods with some simple exercises such as yoga or meditation.
Focus On What Is To Come
Lastly, you need to understand one thing – divorce is not the end. It could possibly be the beginning of a new and better life.
Maybe you’ll find love again in your life. Or perhaps you can fulfil all your teenage desires like heading out on a solo bike trip.
The essence here is that you should try to be optimistic about your divorce and the life after it.
Remorse or grief are the enemies of your internal peace. And you need to avoid them.
Focussing your energies on the days to come can help you stay happier with yourself. And not to mention, you’ll feel more confident about yourself, both mentally and physically.
The Bottomline
Divorce itself isn’t nasty. Sometimes, it saves peoples lives and other times, it just gets them out of an unhappy situation.
But, it indeed comes with stress.
Nonetheless, now you know that you can manage your stress without having to go the medical route. With a simple holistic approach to your divorce, you can easily manoeuvre through it.
