November 6, 2024
The following is an excerpt from Marcel Strigberger’s new book, First, Let’s Kill the Lawyer Jokes: An Attorney’s Irreverent Serious Look at the Legal Universe
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a “brief” – Franz Kafka
Do we lawyers unnecessarily complicate matters? Are we windbags? Do we waste too much time on trivialities? I am thinking about a notable nineteenth-century British judge, Lord Bacon, who said after a hearing: “This case bristles with simplicity. The facts are admitted, the law is plain, and yet it has taken seven days to try—one day longer than God Almighty required to make the world.”
Actually, I could not readily locate the name of this case. I spent about ten minutes trying to find it but no luck. (OK, maybe twenty minutes.)
Is this problem always the fault of the lawyers? Our Rules of Professional Conduct note that, “advocates must raise fearlessly every issue, advance every argument, and ask every question.” Some lawyers exaggerate this professional zeal. I prepared for a car accident trial once with the help of a newbie lawyer Harold, who took that “ask every question” part rather seriously. In preparing the client, he asked him, “And sir, what was your licence plate number?”
I interrupted, asking him why he thought this question was relevant. He looked at me incredulously and said, “Ho ho, it demonstrates to the jury the client’s credibility.”
Actually, we managed to settle the case. But I wondered about Harold’s comment. Just what would a jury have concluded? “The plaintiff remembered his own plate number. He’s certainly credible. Let’s add a couple of zeroes.”
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